Panic.

As you may have gathered, Blaine took a long time (and a lot of dough) to create. Due to ‘unexplained’ fertility issues, we opted to have an IVF and got lucky on the first one. So you can imagine my surprise when, after only one cycle and 10 months after his birth, I became pregnant with Baby Surprise. We couldn’t believe it.

And I’ll be honest – I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around it.

 

Sorted! Let's see if Baby 2 can wear some of the stuff Baby 1 grew out of too quickly!

Sorted! Let’s see if Baby 2 can wear some of the stuff Baby 1 grew out of too quickly!

I had a baby in 2012, and I’m having another one in 2013. Doesn’t that just NOT seem possible? At all? In the most cliché of words from the last year – mind = blown.

Luckily, we are pretty prepared in terms of “stuff”. I didn’t get rid of Blaine’s clothes, we still have most of his toys / gear, and I am lucky to have wonderful friends and family who bought me a lovely second-hand double stroller. Joy! But emotionally? I’m nervous as all heck. Didn’t I just finish breastfeeding, making pureed baby food, changing 10 diapers a day, losing 20 pounds of baby weight, and peeling pee-pee soaked shirts off my body? I feel like Buttercup coming out of the Fire Swamp unscathed, clinging to Westley’s arm and looking beautiful (if not a bit ragged), only to face the dastardly Prince Humperdink and his vile henchmen.

Newborn babies are hard. Breastfeeding was extremely painful for me in the first few weeks, the winter months can be awfully long, and I desperately miss my activities (biking, hiking, running, writing). Don’t get me wrong – this baby is a miracle that I am so thankful for…but one can’t help one’s feelings, now can one? I simply have to remind myself that being a mother to two small babes is like a hiatus from your self: you must give selflessly in order to reap the reward of having children – not just babies. They will grow up. I will resume working. We will go on camping trips as a family. I will participate in triathlons and see them standing at the finish line waiting for me… and at some point I will not be covered in one of a small child’s bodily fluids. That will be cool.

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One thought on “Panic.

  1. wow!! congrats!! gosh, it’s completely understandable to have so many emotions to deal with!! two babes in two years is huge! you’re going to be so proud of yourself looking back on it all one day 🙂

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